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Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

I'm not a native English speaker and I want to know if there is a way to make sure that the past continuous doesn't looks like passive in a narrative (I'm sorry if this doubt is too silly)

cre8iveovadose:

clevergirlhelps:

Yeah, if you can stick “by zombies” at the end of a sentence and still have it make sense, you know it’s passive.

The boy kicked the ball by zombies does not make grammatical sense and is not passive.

The ball was kicked by zombies makes grammatical sense and is passive.

… So you’re telling me that I spent 4 weeks in my editing class learning about past participles and subject-verb agreement when I could have just known “by zombies”?

mrvelocipede:

This is a thing that exists. Because I made it.

It’s a knitted lace doily inspired by The Matrix. It started with the central panel; I was doing a series of tests to see how different letters worked, and ended up with a swatch that said “whoa.” Rather than setting it aside as a useful piece of research that had adequately served its purpose, I decided to try picking up stitches all around the edge, and turning it into a larger thing with a border. Right around that time I was looking through a bunch of different lace stitches, and discovered that there was a pattern called “Trinity,” which I used for the part immediately surrounding the center. After that it was mostly just a matter of swatching shapes that looked like spoons.

This is a lousy picture, so you can’t really see them, but there is a single red bead in the middle of one spoon, and a blue one in the other. A red pill and a blue pill. Because of course.

Also, it’s huge. Stretched out, it’s about 39”x25”, which is larger than some small throw rugs. I have no idea what I’m going to do with the thing, except try to take some better pictures tomorrow.

ofgeography:

so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!

here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:

disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.

sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.

so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—

here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:

  • it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.

so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE:

  • you have to pay for pay per view.

so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”

  • AS A FAMILY.

and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.

"i received the tv bill today," my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. "does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?"

as a reminder, a quick table survey:

  • my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
  • my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
  • my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
  • me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography

silence.

my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”

silence.

my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.

my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”

  • WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?

"don’t expose my kid to that crap."

  • DON’T
  • EXPOSE
  • MY KID
  • TO THAT CRAP

"if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room."

  • I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
  • IN THE LIVING ROOM

but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • i did not want to go to porn prison

the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:

  • my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
  • my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
  • my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences

but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • this is the best thing i’ve ever done

(Source: bellecs)

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

More Argent bestiary notations???

jettiebettie:

All unnatural creatures cower and flee in the name of our Lord God. - 1715”
Proven false; they flee unchecked proselytism. - 1868”

Attacked pack of shapeshifters with fire and water blessed by a local priest. Unsure which was more effective. - 1857”
It was not the blessed water. (Group casualties: 3 dead, 4 wounded)" - 1864"
It was the fire. - 1865”

If one falls prey to the temptations of a succubus, he must be isolated within a monastery for a period of one fortnight in order to cleanse himself of such desires. A fellow brother will determine if the afflicted is well enough to return to the service of the family. - 1734”
Just lock him in a room with a Playboy and wait a day or two. - 1976” 

A knife crafted by a medicine man of the region is the only method found capable of vanquishing the creature known as Wendigo. - 1801”
Addendum: Setting its den ablaze works just as well. - 1803”

We have encountered on our journey an ungodly beast. Though it casts the appearance of a water fowl upon first sight, its ghastly body is covered in a matted fur pelt. Its tail is not its own, but that of which may have belonged once to a beaver. We suspect its nature to be an unholy one. Details to follow. - 1798”
Is he talking about a platypus? - 1965”

strawberrypatty:

pvivax:

the-doctor-wtf:

capnmidori:

jane-potter:

nemonclature:

clawfoottub:

theacheofmodernism:

GUYS I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

That is so adorable.

I’m so confused

IT HAS BEGUN

and i just magically transformed into an old person like what the hell not even paying taxes made me old but suddenly i just

bam. old.

Oh for fuck’s sake.

Oh honey, no

Does this person want to live in 1994 or 2004? I can’t even tell

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